After that breakdown, he realizes that perhaps he has been attacking the movie from the wrong angle.Men have no.just fuck it, we're not doing it!Ĭritic: (holds his head in his hands and groans) So, this military force of a planet, that has an atmosphere made out of radiation, has never had an explosion? This race is more gun-happy than Charlton Heston's SHOOTING GALLERY, and yet there's NEVER BEEN AN EXPLOSION ON THIS PLANET?! They could look at a KITTEN, and somehow they'd make it blow up! THESE GUYS ARE CRAZY! THERE'S NEVER BEEN AN EXP- WHAT?! YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT?! THIS IS STUPID! THIS IS STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!' (speeds up as the Critic goes into meltdown mode) Our solution to losing the baby weight would be "Losing the baby." No man would ever have sex again if they knew a baby was coming out of it - excuse me - out of THEM! Men have no practice. No man could resist alcohol during pregnancy. Men are horrible at throwing baby showers. No man is going through a friggin' C-section. If a baby kicks, the man would probably kick back. This would probably be some form of incest. God knows what kind of mutations would arise. A man could get pregnant just by jerking off. Men would never take care of themselves properly. No man would volunteer unless doing it for a movie role. Of course, there are those nasty morals and the body thing, what with men not having vaginas, for instance, but it's just the tip of the iceberg. And, of course, the reasons why men couldn't get pregnant. Hey kids, let's play "find the joke", with Dora the Explorer!.In which he throws in a picture of Chuck Bass. Also, the Critic getting his own Big-Lipped Alligator Moment.Neo's reaction to the main character's name being John Matrix:Ĭritic: (completely nonchalant) All right, back to the review."Mommy, I want some ice-cream, some cookies, and I want it now, now now now now NOW!!!"."But luckily the flight attendant is here to return your seats and tray tables to their upright- KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!" (KABOOM!!!).
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